Friday, January 14, 2011

daily reflection- teenage dreams

Snowdrops melt in the arms of the sun, even the hardest heart of ice......cannot resist warmth....

Hi,

I am a teenager .I do not understand myself. Tried to, but i fail every time. Is it the reason why no one understands me? Why this rage, this anger , this destructive phase. Is it coz i just grew up. As a kid i failed to retort , respond or fight for myself. I just listened and heard. Cowering and towering over me was a fearful world, i was sacred and lost. Always the scapegoat. All along the dark nights, i thought about how i can escape. Maybe i cant , coz its not outside, but the darkness inside me that needs light.
So now i m 'BIG' I can defend , fight and destroy things. I feel like a dormant volcano about to erupt. Far along have I not , not spoken and far along I only listened.
But..but where did i go wrong? And why this sudden surge of rage against this society and world? They did do something wrong, else why would i feel so helpless and lost.So now i plunder and loot the very world that kept me aloof. Let me cry, left me alone ..but didn't i cry 'LEEAVE ME ALONE' the other day when someone tried to help?..how could they have left, couldn't they stay a little longer, just a little , i would have changed then maybe?
But its late now, or is there hope. I can't surrender now, not now when i feel so invincible..but..still..what's that light that I see?


PS: dont know why but i felt i needed to write from the point of view of a teenager, i m not a teenager, but i was once...and so were you. how did i feel then and how do i feel now?

No comments: